I’m tired of seeing shitty arguments where both sides have no idea what they are talking about and look like whiny, illogical little babies. They look as dumb as politicians; always trying to interject with some idiotic remark that deals no blows. My argumentative style changes that. My argumentative style is full proof and does all of the right punches. I know what it does because I’ve built it on years of telling “intellectuals” who the boss is in countless communities and have never, not once, lost one of these arguments. That is because my style, called the ABFC (Angry Baker Fighting Chance), is invincible.
So let’s get started:
Rule number one: I’m right; you’re wrong. Since I know I’m right (because I’m never wrong), my alliance towards my argument gives me loyalty. I won’t be pulling those “oh, yeah, but…” cards like the morons that have no idea what they’re talking about. Instead, I’ll be saying “Bullshit.”
Rule number two: If you’re stuck, pull the irrelevant card. This has saved my ass so many times in a debate. If I am on a subject where I have the argumentee by the balls, I’ll stick with it and deal a bunch of below-the-belt hits. If they try to change the subject suddenly, say “BULLSHIT. THAT’S IRRELEVANT” and punch them in the face.
Rule number three: Be offensive. Don’t be Mr. Nice Guy. Don’t be ridiculously obscene by calling them faggots (but they probably are); usually naming them off as idiots, mentally impaired, etc. deals enough to their morale to make them either A: become incomprehensibly angered and, at that point, their argument becomes invalid as a whole or B: run away.
Rule number four: Grammar doesn’t matter. I’ve won so many arguments with people that claim to be intellectuals just by typing in internet tongue – no periods. In fact, I recommend that you don’t use capital letters nor periods at the end of a paragraph because it flips the argumentee’s lid and they’ll call you out on it because they know they’ve lost. That’s when you grab them by the balls.
Rule number 5: I’m always right – you’re always wrong. Same as rule number one. This is IMPORTANT.
SUMMARY: You don’t need to know shit about the argument and you can still win. Focus in on one small area and keep punching the argumentee and they’ll have a breakdown once they realize that you aren’t capable of arguing at all (but it’s a subconscious thing. They won’t call you out on it) and they will either snap or stop arguing because they know they’ve lost. You look like a hero and nobody else wants to fuck with you. That, dear reader, is the glory of the Angry Baker Fighting Chance argumentative style.
Note: Most likely, this post will continually be updated to prevent loopholes and to be more comprehensive. We both know that you are dyslexic and have no idea what you’ve just read. Don’t even kid yourself.
