[PROTOTYPE]™ “Become anything… except a good game™”

[PROTOTYPE]™.  Why is it trademarked? Why is it in brackets? Looks like Radical has one too many retards with Associate’s Degrees in Graphic Design.  In [PROTOTYPE]™ you play Alex Mercer, a muslim terrorist hellbent on slaughtering innocent marines and some bullshit nonexistent covert ops group (BLACKWATCH) with superpowers obtained from getting bitten by a radioactive spider after fighting the Hulk.  Get it yet? This game is just like Hulk: Ultimate Destruction and Spiderman, except shittier.  Throughout the game you mercilessly slay thousands upon thousands of innocent civilians and soldiers.  Why, because they’re trying to stop blandly textured New York from being overtaken by a deadly virus you happen to be carrying.  Alex Mercer, you selfish jerk.

As for the actual gameplay; have fun defending paper mache trucks from an endless onslaught of infected enemies and playing other copious amounts of boring defense/escort quests.  As if that weren’t bad enough, the game is really short.  And by really short I mean Mirror’s Edge felt like Metal Gear Solid 4 in comparison.  If it weren’t for you getting bored and leaving to go play something that’s actually worth your time, you could definitely complete this game in one or two sittings.  The only incentive you have to replay this pile of garbage is getting the powers you bought last game at the beginning of your new one.  “Replay the same shitty game with the powers you bought last playthrough!”  What is this, Dead Rising?  Get out.  One more thing about the gameplay: the tank piloting is fucking atrocious.  What kind of autistic RETARD decides that the controls should be relative to the camera and not the tank’s chassis?  The kind that resides in the development team of Radical, that’s who.

Graphically, this game is no looker.  The whole city is bland and uninteresting, which provides no motivation to do any exploration whatsoever.  What’s that?  What about all those hidden orbs you can collect?  Oh sorry, too bad you’ll never get to them because the parkour in this game is atrocious.  Since everything is automatic in this game because Radical thinks that everything needs to be spoonfed to you casual fucks, Alex will randomly fall off of walls and do backflips because the game is as good at guessing what you want to do as a Hungarian gypsy is at telling your future.  The textures, effects, models, etc. are all equally fatiguing.  With no large variation in enemy (especially hunters) or civilian type, the scenery gets old quick.  “Wow!  The same fucking wigger wearing a basketball jersey I just saw two seconds ago!  Amazing, this game truly is technologically advanced.”  The voice actors remind me of some schmucks they pulled off the street ala Sci-Fi channel original movies.  Hey, maybe the same voice actor that did Dana also played a role in the ever-popular “Transmorphers”, you never know.

This game has so many faults I could write a whole dissertation over them and submit them for my PhD in philosophy under the theme “Why the Video Games Industry is Autistic.”  With all the flaws this game contains, you’d think there would be no positive points, right?  Wrong.  One of the few good features of this game is its ability to display a lot of things on screen at once.  Of course since [PROTOTYPE]™ doesn’t have pretty graphics or decent AI to back it up, this is completely unimpressive.  Tanks will randomly run over and crush civilians and civilian vehicles while civilian vehicles themselves will just stop randomly in the middle of the road or drive off into the countryside (IE Central Park).  The pedestrian AI is equally lackluster.  If you use any of your less obvious powers (jumping high, sprinting fast, etc.) while visible to the military, they will utter something along the lines of “Hey! What was that?! Go check it out!” as if they are blind and didn’t see it but have been endowed with psychic gypsy abilities and were able to sense that you did something zany.  If you purchase this game; you’re an idiot.  Simple as that.
Visuals: 0/10
Gameplay: 0/10
Sound: 0/10
Total:  0/30