Fourteen dead in Italy
From a traincar explosion
Railroads: a poor choice.
Guns aren’t tools. But you are
The following excerpt comes from some Russian faggot
Firearms are just tools, developed by humans and for humans through centuries to accomplish various tasks. These tasks may vary, but in my opinion firearms are as legitimate for civilian purposes as anything else, and according to statistics on accidents in many countries, firearms are less dangerous than automobiles.
What the fuck kind of idiot to you have to be to believe this kind of relativistic bullshit? The kind of idiot who uses a computer, I guess, because you see this kind of shit everywhere. I know gun owners are mostly limp-dicked rednecks who never finished school because they had to tend to the incestuous love children of their brothers and sisters, and you knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers are going to be the ones posting all the damn comments, so let me just break this down -
- A gun is a tool.
No, dickshit fucknugget, it isn’t; a gun is a weapon, which is a complicated multisyllabic word meaning thing that kills things. See this whole “tool” bullshit is designed to drill home the next point these Jews make -
- PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE NOT WEAPONS OFBHDORHNSDONRHDSRHN
See, when they aren’t wrong, they’re infantile. Too bad when they’re infantile they don’t connect the damn dots.
But I guess that’s part of being infantile. God, I hate infants. How many times have you been enjoying a good movie or dinner and some thirtysomething couple come in with their fucking kid and their fucking high chair and let the little fucker make so much fucking noise you can’t fucking pay any attention to ANY OTHER FUCKING THING. Gag the fuckers; I would. People don’t realize that being a child is the same as having any other disease. Like polio. Only this one can only be cured by time – so lock them up in their damn room until they can communicate like adults. It worked for me.
But it didn’t work for all you egomaniacal wannabe-lawyer gun collectors out there, so back to the point. Whenever someone says “if we banned guns people would kill each other with knives!!!!!” you need to come back strong with a kick to the throat, because ain’t nothing else gonna shut that crankshaft up. People kill each other with knives right now, fuckstick, but if we banned guns at least that would stop.
“oh but why not just ban knives then huh you meanie”
Because, shitmonkey, a knife is a tool. You use it to prepare food. You can use a gun to kill food, but you could also just buy it, which would be easier if you didn’t drop $1,500 on that old-ass Springfield you don’t hunt with anyway, retard. Try cutting a steak with a damn spoon and see how far that gets you.
Actually, don’t, steak is pretty gross. I hate when people pretend to like it. Nobody likes steak. It’s bland and uninteresting, or else bloody and horrifying; I’d probably get more interest gnawing at my forearm. This shit’s fine in a burger, so leave it there. If I go to a 5 star restaurant I expect some five star buffalo wings god dammit.
At least killing someone with a knife shows some clear brass. You always hear about these five year old fucks who blast some dude because they found an unlocked gun in the house. Imagine if they tried that shit with a knife? If they didn’t cut themselves all open, they’d get the shit stomped out of them.
Yeah, that’d kick ass.
Eulogy for Billy Mays; my man.
I hated that asshole. I’m glad he’s gone. I’m sick of seeing this shitty argument between who’s better; Billy Mays or Vince Offer. They are both terrible at advertising. The only reason the products they advertise for make any money is because everyone knows what the product is/has heard of it before. Shamwow? Whoopty-fucking doo. Old. Slap-chop? I’ve had one since ’05 (and I never use it). Kaboom? OxiClean? Just another brand of something that’s already out. I’m not impressed by anything they’ve advertised so why should I (or anyone else, for that matter) care if some TV salesperson dies? The only reason I’m concerned is because I’m tired of hearing about it – just like Michael Jackson.
Eulogy for MJ, my man.
Michael Jackson was a wonderful man who deserved the title “King of Pop.” He was a man of the people, as well, with great taste in both fashion and children. His songs went through the hearts and minds of many teenagers of his time, and he was an idol amongst many. From black to white – the transition of his life began, from a poor city boy to a king with an entourage. He walked the moon and the streets with a horde of zombies – he had slain werewolves and shrugged off the press. He lived a life that nobody else had, and one day on the Neverland Ranch, he had said “I am truly the king of this manor of mine.” And it was true – he was indeed the king of Neverland Ranch, where he would ride carousels until his heart gave in!
Michael was a man of his word, too. He never touched children. Well, he had, but only through their hearts. He died an honest man’s death, and his reputation as the King of Pop will go on forever.
All I can say is this: Good riddance.
Transformers 2: Perfection Achieved
Now, I can’t say I’m one of the people who liked the first Transformers movie. Let’s be honest – all it was was a bare-bones action movie with a paper-thin plot that only put asses in the seats because of Megan Fox and giant robot battles. So of course I expected that going into Transformers 2.
I was wrong.
The first thing you will notice when you sit down to watch this fantastic movie is the depth of the plot. Gone are the simplistic trappings of the premise – no longer is it merely “AUTOBOTS GOOD DECEPTICONS BAD.” It turns out the Decepticons aren’t even the MAIN bad guys, but they actually serve one supreme bad guy called THE FALLEN! That’s right; it’s more than just a subtitle affixed to the name of the movie in lieu of a 2 – how CRAZY is that?
But it gets crazier. Remember that cube they were fighting for the whole first movie? The one they destroyed because that was the entire point? Turns out it wasn’t. There’s like two shards left and Shia has one because it was in his pocket the whole time. But then he looks at it and gains the magical ability to see strange symbols that you later find out are ancient runes which aren’t actually significant to the plot (or even ever translated) but for some reason causes the Decepticons to chase him and try to pry open his brain before they just say the hell with that and go to the pyramids to unlock an ancient Decepticon machine that they plan to turn on with an ancient key to obliterate the sun (because it’s way easier to put such a machine on a planet than, say, shoot it from space, thereby ending this whole thing before it even began) in order to gain energy for themselves even though they don’t apparently need it because they could get such energy from LITERALLY ANY STAR IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE and this is obviously the only one under Autobot protection and besides they don’t even have the key, but that doesn’t matter because they just activate it anyway. So Transformers 2 not only manages to invalidate the plot of the previous movie, but even invalidates its own plot. Genius! Most people won’t notice, though, because they’ll be spending most of the last 30 minutes staring at Megan Fox’s tits. They’re great. You get about 7 slow motion shots of her running away from explosions with no bra and just a skimpy shirt. I mean, that doesn’t really detract from the completely nonsensical action going on around her (the army launches a naval invasion to get to a desert, a destroyer has a railgun that can kill a massive combination of six transformers but not a pyramid (even though Optimus destroys said pyramid later on with a single rocket), the humans just shoot normal bullets the whole time as if they expect it to do anything, Shia’s parents appear at the battlefield for no reason and with absolutely no explanation whatsoever, and not a single one of the main characters dies, in spite of all of the decepticons in the whole fucking universe trying to kill them).
In fact, basically nobody dies who wasn’t introduced in this movie. You’ve still got all the core Autobots, plus 15 new ones; Megatron and Starscream (even though they both have their faces shot off like twice each); Shia, Megan, Shia’s parents and that Sector 7 guy; Shia’s dog. The main villain was introduced and killed off. The cube was totally destroyed, but we thought it was last movie, too. No major cities were leveled, just a forest and a pyramid. We’re basically back EXACTLY WHERE WE BEGAN. Like a serialized television show.
You know what? I changed my mind. This move was fucking atrocious.
FINAL SCORE 0/5
I hate fantasy books/movies.
I especially hate people that enjoy them or find some reason to expand on the crappy idea, anyway. Are authors so lazy that instead of learning about a country or region, that they come up with some bullshit fantasy land of their own? Keep in mind I am not using fantasy as fiction – I’m using fantasy as in Lord of the Rings, Redwall, etc. It seems to me that authors like these jerks start writing about some place that exists and they keep it fairly realistic until they come to the point where they add in the most ridiculous amount of bullshit (orcs; rodent people; you name it) and then they decide to ruin the whole story.
The authors make four to fifty books all based in this bullshit. And they become top-sellers. Evidently readers are intellectuals and as an intellectual, it would be expected of them to read something rational and factual, so technically if you read these books you’re just an idiot. I bet they write fan fictions and role play, too, and use anime smiley faces. Those are definitely some smart people!
So, these books become hits and Hollywood decides to exploit retards that liked the bullshit stories and makes five movies based on those stories and every movie forks in so much cash that the producers don’t even know what to do with themselves. Smart marketing strategy: too bad they’re exploiting a bunch of morons.
When I saw Lord of the Rings (the first one; I never saw the rest) I thought it was a sci-fi original movie. I couldn’t believe I watsed eight dollars on that piece of shit. The only good thing going for it was the cinematograpy. Everything else was absolutely mediocre. How could it be top dog in the film industry? Oh, right, because producers exploit teeny-boppers.
Robert Pattinson clipped by Taxi – fans could care less.
Evidently a bunch of horny teens wanting some big, fat Edward cock were stopped abrubtly as they scared poor Robert (Edward from Twilight, anyone?) out in to the street where he gets nailed by a taxi. Oh, excuse me – pussy-swiped by a taxi. I doubt he was even hit; I bet he was just scared shitless/bumped in to it and fell over and everyone else made a big scene out of it. Let’s face it, though, little girls – do they give a shit? I doubt it.
The big kicker for me is the obscene amounts of retards that are glad he was hit as if he committed some act of sin or outright crime. I don’t blame the poor guy for playing in Twilight – it was the right move! It’s not like he was super famous at the time and had thousands of scripts pouring in just waiting for him to pick from. He picked the best that was availiable and he gets dirt kicked on him. The only asshole in this situation is the idiots that have no idea what they are talking about. I’m glad he was in Twilight – I’m sure he regrets it, but it was definitely his door to fame.
Anyway, yeah. Fans? They don’t care. I’m sure the hardcore ones do, but the general population probably care more about the Twilight sequel being postponed than Robby getting nailed by a cab. What a bunch of selfish assholes.
Obama swats fly – PETA gets bitchy.
What a badass [Youtube]. Seriously – it takes skill to teach a fly who the man is, even if it’s a fatass horse fly. I don’t care about what Obama does and I especially don’t care about him swatting a fly, but it’s definitely awesome that he taught that little fucker who’s boss. Flies are like women – if you don’t swing at them enough, they’ll keep getting on you and biting and being annoying. Obama was sending a message: women need to learn their place.
PETA ignored Obama’s glorious, masculine message, however, and thought it was cruel of our president to attack an innocent creature even though it could be carrying a virus and give it to him and he would die and our country would be ruined forever. PETA does one thing and one thing only – challenge power. They’re like women (and flies). Obama was sending a message to PETA – he’s the boss now and he’s not going to give shitty orginizations like PETA such a long leash. You’ll see: he’ll teach them who’s boss, too.
I like Obama’s plan – be nice to gays and minorities and be mean to everyone else. What a swell guy! I would have voted for him if he didn’t give off such a shitty ploy when he was running for president.
